Weight Loss Stories: Judgment

Photo Credit: cottonbro studio

So, Pam told me about where to have the absolute best Italian food in town, and she would know. She and Matt have been to all the hot spots. Dave and I really haven’t. To be honest we’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. Too tired at night to do anything but cook something easy and eat while watching one of our shows. I mean, it’s not terrible. It gives us something to talk about. And we do need something to talk about. Not that there’s tension between us…well, I guess there could be. But not like other couples. We’ve just talked about it all, you know. And now that all the kids are out of the house and have been for a while, we just  need new subjects. That’s where our shows come in. Sometimes our sports teams help, but we’re in between seasons right now. 

Anyway, there we were at the Italian Spot, and if I’m being honest, I expected it to be nicer. But I kept hoping it would be as good as Pam suggested. Sometimes these hole-in-the-wall places have the best food. But still, on my way in I noticed we were in a very dodgy part of town. I’m not sure how safe I felt with our BMW parked out there. Not that I’m judging the people who live over here. I mean, I’m sure they’re doing their best, but is this really where we want to spend our one night out? I just kept thinking that, and then looking around at the people. You know, there was a little bit of everything. Some people looked like they really got dressed up and came out for a great meal--a great evening, but others…there was this guy in a wife beater. You know, those almost dirty-looking tank tops. And he was there with his haggard wife and their many kids. I don’t even remember how many; they just seemed to be crawling with loud, unruly kids over there. I wasn’t sure what to make of it all.

And then I guess it was the manager who came to our table to ask if everything was okay. We had just gotten our food, and it was okay at that point. Nothing too special, but nothing was wrong. Well, you won’t believe it, but his shirt was unbuttoned like four buttons or something, and he had so much chest hair. It was so gross! I thought, man, I sure hope that doesn’t fall into the food. (chuckle) I had a hard time eating after that, but I really tried not to think about it. 

But then it happened. Dave reached out and took my hand. And looked at me in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. I clutched his hand too, and I swear I was getting teary. It was like we were really connecting for the first time in a long time. He brushed my hand with his thumb and said, “you look really pretty tonight. I like that dress on you.” Well, I thought I might fall over. I just felt myself soften, and if I’m honest I got a little turned on. Right? I mean, that just does it for me. But seriously, I just knew in that moment that Debbie was right--at our last Bible study--she talked about the power of praying for your husband. That sometimes they can’t really hear the words you’re saying because they have too much stress and pressure, and so the best thing to do is look pretty, stay quiet, and ask God to speak truth to his heart. Well, I’ve been doing that, and I really think God answered my prayer. 

We were really about to have a breakthrough conversation when it happened. You just really won’t believe--this girl-she looked crazed and maybe like she was on something. I mean, given the state of the neighborhood I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, she came bursting through the door, and yelling for the manager. Everyone in the restaurant just stopped and looked at her. And she kept yelling and yelling and getting angrier. I was getting pretty scared. I mean, she did not look stable. Finally, the hairy-chested manager came out and tried to get her to be quiet. But she absolutely did not get quiet. She got even louder and yelled  something right in his face. Something really sarcastic and angry like, (with her best voice imitation of a crazy woman) “I just wanted to come in here and thank you. Thank you for having my van towed out of your parking lot. I tried to call you today, but no one answered the phone. And I work for a living, so I couldn’t just keep calling all day. And now my van is gone, and they told me you had it towed?! Well, thanks a lot. I’m a single mom, and that was my only means of getting to work and getting my kids to school. So, thank you..thank you so much.” At that point this guy came and basically pulled her back out the door and apologized for her behavior. I think I even heard her screaming in the parking lot. I mean, what is happening? I’m not sure why they didn’t call the police! Who knows what that girl was on, and she has kids? Oh, those poor things. Can you imagine what their life is like? I mean, we gave our kids everything, and they are still out there doing…God knows what. Certainly not living like we taught them to live. But they will…you know? They will. We’re not like that woman--yelling in public restaurants and screaming in parking lots. We did everything right. Well, we weren’t perfect, but you know what I mean. Raised them in church and tried to be good examples. We certainly never had any drugs in our house. I bet that woman just has a drug problem. That’s probably why she’s a single mom. Just out there having babies she can’t afford or take care of. 

Anyway, at least that woman gave us something to talk about for a few days. We just kept going over it and wondering about her. Wondering what is happening to our city. I think we’ve just lost touch with the Lord, you know? Just so many people out there living without him. And we’re just clinging to the truth while everything just seems so messed up. I can’t imagine where that girl is now, but we’ve just talked and talked about her. We even had a few moments of laughter, thinking about the hairy-chest on that manager! 

But, we didn’t get that moment back. The sweet one where he brushed my hand. As soon as she came in, he let go, and I wondered for a second if he was going to go help her or something. I don’t know what he thought he was going to do, but even after she left he said he felt sorry for her. He can be such a sucker for people like that. And of course, he was lost in thought after she left, and we just couldn’t get back to that connection. I wish we would. It was so nice. I feel like we both want it, but we don’t know how to get it or something. But don’t worry, I have faith. I’m going to keep praying, and I know God will help us.